Let me just say that if you have an issue with the title of this blog, you should stop reading. Because while not all cops are bullies who abuse their power, a lot of them are. As someone once said, just because you given an asshole a gun doesn’t make them any less of an asshole and often times empowers them to become an even greater one.
If you’ve been keeping up with my blog better than I have, then you’ll know that at the end of November, I was involved in a hit and run, effectively ruining my car. However, after my very generous ex-bosses paid to fix it up, it is running again. Unfortunately, due to the circumstances that followed without a car, I found myself broke, living on the streets, and forced to relocate to the San Francisco area.
After a disappointing experience working for a convenience store, I recently found two jobs working on food trucks. This would make the third and fourth food truck I’ve worked on in the last year. Kind of a niche market, admittedly, but jobs are usually available because it’s so hard to find people to work such positions, and I seem to be relatively good at it. Because of these new jobs, I’ve been spending a lot more time in the Daly City/Broadmoor areas, as the jobs are primarily in San Francisco and there is absolutely no parking there.
Recently, I was pulled over in Daly City because my registration was expired. It actually was supposed to be renewed three days after the accident I was in, but I was never able to get around to it due to my dire financial circumstances. I explained to the police officer that I was a homeless person living in their car, that I had just started a new job, and would rectify the issue as soon as I could. Figures that my appeal to his conscience would fall flat, as I was cited with a Fix It Ticket, basically giving me a little over a month to get my car registered. I did not bother asking him what made him think I could afford the ticket or registration if I had not already done so, but I decided not to be a dick because the cop was actually quite nice. I even thanked him, which I immediately wanted to slap myself for, because I was not thankful for a ticket.
A couple of days after that, I was driving not far from where I had received the previous ticket when I was pulled over again, but this time in Broadmoor. I wondered if it was for my registration again, because I would just simply hand him my previous ticket and be on my way. However, when I asked what I did, he said I was talking on my cell phone.
Now, I was talking on my cell phone. I have no reason to lie to you, the readers. However, this was the first time in my life I had ever been pulled over for this, and given how many stupid drivers there are on the road (talking about the Asians, here), I became a little miffed. I told the cop I was not talking on my phone and was in fact eating food, showing him a McDonald’s cheeseburger I had just purchased. He argued with me and said that I was going 25 MPH and talking on my phone with my right hand. He was in fact correct, but I wasn’t about to let him in on that.
The officer said he was going to cite me, and I told him I would contest it. He dryly said he would see me in court where he would testify what he saw. Knowing the legal system as well as I do, a cop’s testimony in traffic court is often the beginning and end of evidence a judge even considers, so I decided to get my money’s worth and called him a cocksucker.
Now, it’s not every day that I tell off a cop. But my frustration related to my registration had already bubbled up inside me, and this ticket would be an absolutely hard blow to my financial situation. After the cop told me the language was unnecessary, I proceeded to tell him that it was absolutely necessary, as he did not know how to properly do his job, tossing in some more profanities towards him. Eventually, he heard enough and told me to stay in my car while he wrote my ticket. I kept yelling at him as he walked away.
Less than a minute later, he came back with my papers and license and said for me to stay off my phone, that he couldn’t cite me because he had to respond to a traffic accident, and he had “better things to do”, after which he sarcastically told me to have a nice day. I was shocked: I had cussed this cop out and had not only avoided going to jail, but was lucky enough that some other moron drivers were pulling him away from citing me. I felt on top of the world.
Unfortunately, cops have friends. I’m guessing this cop told his buddies down at the precinct to keep an eye out for my car (it stands out now), because the next morning, I had a ticket on my windshield for…expired registration. Guess they got me in the end.
After finding out from the DMV that my car was not up for smog this renewal, I was able to get my car registered. It did end up costing me roughly $200, plus the cost of renting a mail box for an address and renewing my insurance policy. But now, I’m good until December, and my Fix It Tickets are now only $10 a piece. Suck it, pigs!
All I want is to be left alone
In my compact home
But what do I always feel
Like I’m in the Twilight Zone?