One thing that we are allowed to do three days a week in the program I’m in is to walk to 7-Eleven and buy stuff. This is referred to as “Personal Needs Day”, which is just a bogus way of saying “You Get To Buy Shit”.
While the 7-Eleven I visited did not have my preferred products, one item that caught my eye was a bottled “milkshake” branded by Coldstone Creamery. Most of the bottled dairy drinks like this are often lackluster and a poor replacement for an actual milkshake. However, some do have their charm and can be enjoyed in a pinch if you’re just wanting something sweet.
For $1.99, you get what tastes like chocolate milk made with Carlos V, or some other poor quality chocolate mix. The texture doesn’t scream creamy, but, rather, resembles some sort of chocolately mucus. I’m actually reminded of the Jim Gaffigan joke referencing a melted milkshake. For your enjoyment, here is the clip.
Overall, this is a very poor product. I’m a little disturbed how easy and willingly big name brands attach their names to poor quality products. Oreos did it with a churro. Butterball did it with turkey jerky. And they don’t even make these products but just license the name of their product. If you complain, they can’t even help you because they don’t make the product. In Coldstone’s case, they outsourced this horrendous product to Steuben Foods, Inc. in Jamaica, New York. Good luck getting them to care.
Official rating: I Want My Money Back!