Dissatisfied with the prospect of a Donald Trump presidency lasting eight years? Now you have an option!
Holden P. Ness, friend and cock sucker, has announced that he will be running for the Democratic nomination for president in 2020.
Ness, known among the gay community as the guy at the Pilot station, has sucked many men in his life and knows what the average man needs in their life: no taxation without fellation, curbing government overreach while providing government reach arounds, and an overall desire to Make Old Glory wHole Again.
Ness hopes to appeal to disenfranchised Democrats and provide them an option just as offensive as the Republican counterpart, Donald Trump. By opening his mouth for the common man, he ensures that the rich and powerful are not simply jizzing on the American public. Instead, Holden P. Ness will take one for the team and swallow whatever may come for you, the American people.