The latest article I’ve chosen to discuss involves Libertarian nominee, Gary Johnson. First, let’s get this out of the way: I like Gary Johnson, and although I did not vote for him, he seems like a cool, possibly stoned, regular guy. He is liked by my Facebook account, and I am rewarded with timeless classics like this one.
A few days ago, Johnson uploaded this picture onto Facebook, gloating about making the front page of the South Dakotan newspaper, the Rapid City Journal. The fact that he was the most interesting thing to happen in South Dakota would, ordinarily, not be something to brag about. After all, it’s flyover country. However, on this particular day, Johnson managed to squeeze out a very interesting story for the prominent story of the day: a real life Denzel Washington trying to fly a plane drunk.
The story was located above the bit about Johnson and was immediately what caught my eye about the picture. Apparently South Dakotan law states that your blood alcohol level must be no more than .04 to operate a fucking plane. And this man evidently thought he was just going to take the metal bird into the air and fly it around for awhile, jeopardizing the lives of all those on board.
This was the most interesting thing in South Dakota that day, other than Gary Johnson. And no, I’m not going to link the article here. Go Google it. But way to go, Gary! I don’t really think you understand what an accomplishment this really was on your part, given that you’re a nobody presidential candidate who hasn’t a chance in the world of winning. But I would really like to know if you caught that.